As I was sitting in a hammock in Whitewater State Park reading a book named The Geography of Bliss, a phrase popped out at me.  “All Happiness is Relational.”

Is it?  I’ve thought about it.  Think about it.  In relation to ourselves, our environment, and each other.  If you are unhappy at work, how does that impact your relationships at home and with friends?  Are you more likely to have fun, play, and be joyful? Or to be a bit more sensitive, grumpy, or need to vent? 

If your significant other is unhappy and down all the time, how does it shift your energy levels?  Your own happiness?Now, some of us are better at all of this than others.  I was probably on day three of having intermittent temper tantrums about my technology challenges that I could not resolve. I was feeling defeated, hopeless, and kind of wanted someone to just fix it.  Yet, it wasn’t fixable in the way that I desired. 

Finally, my boyfriend had to sit me down and speak clearly, plainly, and with tons of love. In essence, he told me he wanted to help me, but first I had to stop digging myself into a hole of despair.  That if I wanted help getting out, to pause and ask for help.  And, that if I was to keep choosing to be unhappy, he was going to make the choice to be happy regardless, and how would that play out in our relationship?

Now, I usually take the happy and positive role in these kinds of interactions, so it was interesting to be on the other side and feel how I interpreted his words. How safety was created for me to feel whatever I needed to feel as he reached out to nudge me in a new direction.

IMO, It was a thoughtful and loving way to say, “Stop whining because there’s nothing either of us can do.  You get to make a choice.”  LOL.  At least that’s how I choose to hear it now.  And, I did.  It took a bit.  After all, three days of grumpiness has a momentum to it and it took some attentive awareness, breath, movement, and EFT Tapping to redirect myself into more peaceful terrain. 

Whether you are in relationship or not, you get to learn the skills to shift your emotional state in relation to your environment around you. After all, just because your boss is a jerk doesn’t mean you should have to be miserable too.  Just because your spouse is struggling in an ocean of despair doesn’t mean you have to jump into the water with them, because otherwise who will help pull them out? Compassion and Empathy are important skills, but so is our own emotional regulation. 

I’m running a free 5-day (one hour per day) masterclass on relationships in September.  All my links are broken that I would ask you to register on, but no worries.  Reply to this email if you are interested and I’ll get you all the details.  Recordings and replays will be available.

Ready for more happiness?  Let’s do it!

With love,

Dawn