How Did I Get Into Another Bad Relationship?
Was your relationship satisfying at the beginning? Did you envision years ahead of the same connection and spark that you felt when you first met? What changed? How did you end up in a bad relationship, wondering if you should break up or stay?
Early Warning Signs
In challenging relationships sometimes a person reflects back to the beginning weeks or months and thinks, “Wow, I missed some of those Early Warning Signs about my partner.”
What were the early warning signs that you chose, consciously or unconsciously, to not pay attention to in your relationship? Perhaps you thought you could accept and live with those little traits, yet as time pushed forward those little things became meaningful (in a not so good way).
I Should Have Known
When we reflect on our partnership, we start seeing the original relationship red flags that we missed. Sometimes we start beating ourselves up at missing signs that would come back at us such as:
- The first time I saw him get angry at someone else and fly off the handle…
- When I saw her put up a wall and really shut down from or cut off a family member for some small matter…
- The time when he blatantly lied to a friend about a money matter and laughed it off as nothing…
- The time I caught her flirting with another person and she said it was just how she interacts and it means nothing…
- The first time I walked in on him when he was hiding a porn site…
- The day I found a receipt for $500 in her purse with a credit card I didn’t know she had…
- When I had a medical emergency and he couldn’t get himself out of a business commitment…
- Our first argument and she avoided ever wanting to talk about it. I thought that she would change with time…
Questions to Ask Yourself
Do you feel like your relationship peaked in the first 6 months and has drifted downhill or stagnated ever since, or not? Were there cues that if you had the courage or clarity that you would have ended the relationship back then before it progressed any further?
What do you realize now were the qualities that you thought you could accept back then but another part of you knew you shouldn’t, and they never went away? What were the qualities in your partner you thought would change with time but never did?
Save Time and Energy
Ultimately, we know that we need to accept someone the way they are as they may never change. In the course Learning to Find Love and the 20+ years of my trainers who passed down this course, we have noted that even though a vast majority of people know within the first 2 months that it was not an ideal relationship, it will take them on average another 2 years before they finally break up.
Divorce rates are not shifting much; Bowling Green State University studies report “14.0 divorces per 1,000 married women in both 2020 and 2021.This rate is the lowest level over a 40-year time span.” They also report an increase in cohabitation across many age ranges. “The share cohabiting experienced a net increase over the 3-year period. Among men, the share increased from 13% in 2019 to 15% in 2021; among women, the share increased from 12% to 13%.” Yet, how many of us are cohabitating because we know we are in the wrong relationship?
Should I Really End It?
This can be a hard question. You see financial obligations looming, hear stories about how it could impact you or the kids long-term, and think you perhaps are being too picky or selective. That’s why the When to End It, When to Stay online and live courses were developed. You can jump on right now, start working through all the questions, gain healing through Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) and find confidence and clarity NOW. Plus, You get to join live when the courses are live. You have forever access. Isn’t that grand? Imagine finding out now, instead of getting divorced when you are older!
Divorce Stats
According to the Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Family and Marriage Research, divorce rates doubled for 55+ Americans and tripled for those over 65 from 1990-2021. Avoid that statistic by taking action now and saving yourself time, money, and energy.
You deserve to have a Loving, Considerate, Joyful Relationship that everyone dreams of. And, it’s possible. Let’s talk if you don’t think it’s possible. Schedule that here NOW. Imagine something better for yourself. You deserve it.
