It Takes Courage to Love

Growing up in the country I had two really close friends.  We were the three amigos; tomboys who sat boldly at the end of the lunch table by ourselves.  You know, the girls running around and hanging upside down from the rainbow in the schoolyard.  In second grade I made friends with another girl we will call Jenny who I loved hanging out with for different reasons.  She had an older sister who taught her a variety of things to expect as we progressed through grades.  I loved hanging out with her too, and I was always impressed by her ever-evolving knowledge.  In fifth grade she told me who I was allowed to be friends with, and said people would only love me if I were part of a certain group. She threatened to end our friendship if I didn’t get the courage to follow her. At that age, I was too scared to stand up for myself, and I ended up losing my two closest childhood friends because of it.

Anger Can Be A Sign

Jenny tried the same trick again in high school, and that time she was the one that I left.  However, years later I found myself struggling with anger and shame. The memories of “dumping” my childhood friends still haunted me, and I was struggling to forgive myself and Jenny.

It wasn’t until I listened to Pema Chodron’s teachings on smiling at fear that I began to understand the root of my anger. When we feel vulnerable, heartbroken, or rejected, anger can be an easier reaction than facing the pain head-on. When we acknowledge our anger and understand it, we get to let go and move on. Have you ever experienced anger like this?

Tested Again! It’s Still Hard

Recently, I found myself in a similar situation with a friend who claimed to love and support me unconditionally. But when I started hanging out with people and seemed to not include him, he lashed out at me and called me duplicitous. I was hurt and confused, but I knew that I had to set boundaries and stand up for myself.

I called him out on his behavior; instead of listening to my concerns, he unfriended me from all social media. It was painful to lose a friend, but I realized that his actions were a lesson in setting my boundaries, just as before. I get have clear, open, and honest communication in my life.  In fact, I don’t tolerate much that isn’t.

It Takes Courage to Let Go

Through these experiences, I have learned that it’s okay to let go of friendships that no longer serve me. It’s okay to stand up for myself and set boundaries. And it’s courageous to feel and sink into anger, as long as I use it as a tool for growth and understanding instead of a weapon to harm others.

In the end, I am grateful for these lessons, as painful as they may be. They have taught me to love and respect myself, and to surround myself with people who do the same. And while I may still feel the sting of betrayal from time to time, I know that I am strong enough to overcome it and come out even stronger on the other side. Can you relate? Let’s have a conversation.

What Kind of Courage Do You Want?

I know you’ve struggled with feeling or giving love, with boundaries, with letting go at some point.  You know you can heal and let go, don’t you?  I can help.  I help you find the unconscious pattern; the deep root of the issue and shift it using hypnosis, NLP, EFT, and a variety of skills I’ve gained over my 26+ years of practice.  I’d love to help you.  Book a 20-minute chat with me today.  Or check out my upcoming classes on Eventbrite.

I look forward to connecting with you.